Even In Death
by Childe of Satan
Summary: Jack refuses to believe Daniel's gone. Preslash. Main CD


**Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate, the actors, nor anything to do with the show. This is purely for my enjoyment and hopefully for yours. If you believe this to be true, email me and I will send you the site for the local mental health. Use of EVEN IN DEATH lyrics from Evanescence. **

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* * *

Give me a reason to believe that you're gone_

I close my eyes as she stands in front of me.

I can see the tears slowly flowing from her blue eyes. Cameron stands to her right, while Teal'c is at her left.

Both men look miserable. Even with Teal'cs head bowed, you can still see the solemn look on his face.

Cameron on the other hand wipes away lone tears that escape his own eyes.

They act. I refuse to believe that I will never have another chance to hold you in my arms. Tell you I'm sorry for making you wait all these years.

Sorry I told you that my career was more important then our relationship.

Sorry I never did more then kiss that gorgeous body of yours.

Sorry I broke your heart that way when I left to take the job outside of the SGC..

Sorry that I said that our love did not matter. This was for the 'better good.'

What most I'm sorry for is that I never told you I planned to come back and get you. I wanted to take you to the cabin and live the rest of our lives in orgasmic bliss.

I refuse to believe it is too late.

I waive them off with a movement of my hand.

"Leave." I tell them.

They all look up at me.

"Leave. Me." This time I demand it.

They finally turn and exit my office. I don't care that they traveled all this way. They speak nothing of truths. Only lies. Fabrication. Fiction.

_Give me a reason to believe that you're gone  
I see your shadow so I know they're all wrong  
_

Do you miss these? I bet you didn't even realize they were missing. I place your glasses on my face. I see nothing but blurs through these specs. They were yours. Now they belong to me.

I call your cell phone. It's disconnected.

I call your _house _and am informed the number is no longer in service.

Days of gone bye since Cameron, Sam and Teal'c told me. Teal'c stopped by the following day and left a note with a date and time of 'your' funeral.

I left the note on my desk.

You are not dead.

I REFUSE to believe that I will never see that smile again . . .

How can you be gone if I can still feel you.

My heart still beats for you, and my soul aches for yours.

Teal'c shows up at my door the night before your 'funeral' and I pack a bag and go off with him. I will go just to prove this point. YOU. ARE. NOT. DEAD. I carefully wrap up your glasses and place them in my shirt pocket. They will be returned tomorrow. Then I will show you just how sorry I am for putting our love on the back burner. We will be one by the end of tomorrow night. This I promise you, my love.

I'm beat by the time we get back to the SGC. Everyone looks so solemn, and my heart skips a beat for a mere moment I start to believe.

"Let me see him," I inform General Landry.

"You're sure?" he asks me.

"Of course," I tell him. You all want me to believe he is dead. Show me the evidence.

Inside a tan, coffin: lies the man I love. Dressed in a blue jacket and pants, I can see they did their best to fix the damage to his features. Still the dark lines are unmistakable across his cheek, as is the swelling of his right eye.

A lone tear escapes my eyes. It is true. They spokethe truth. You are gone. My love is no more.

_I _bend down and kiss your lips. They are no longer warm in which I remember.

I notice something is missing from your face. Carefully I pull your glasses from my pocket. I place them on your face and then start to cry.

Someone comes up behind me and pulls me into a hug. I realize later it's Vala. She tells me of how Daniel jumped in the way and saved her life. How as his body lay dying he asked you me. Daniel still loved me.

The funeral was too much for me to take. I was numb. I haven't been this numb since my son died. I need to leave. After the funeral I borrow a car and drive. I need to go somewhere.

_Moonlight on the soft brown earth  
It leads me to where you lay  
They took you away from me but now I'm taking you home_

I stand at my son's grave.

Falling to my knees, I cry out to the gods and to everyone that I have ever come across. Don't take him away from me too. Please.

A warm wind comes up from behind me. I can feel a hand on my cheek and lips pressed lightly on mine. Opening my eyes, I cannot believe what I see.

"Daniel?"

You smile.

I cannot help but smile back.

_I will stay forever here with you  
My love  
The softly spoken words you gave me_  
_Even in death our love goes on_

_Some say I'm crazy for my love, Oh my love  
But no bonds can hold me from your side, Oh my love  
They don't know you can't leave me  
They don't hear you singing to me_

_And I can't love you, any more than I do_

_People die, but real love is forever_.

R/R


End file.
